“You don’t measure love in time. You measure love in transformation. Sometimes the longest connections yield very little growth, while the briefest of encounters change everything. The heart doesn’t wear a watch - it’s timeless. It doesn’t care how long you know someone. It doesn’t care if you had a 40 year anniversary if there is no juice in the connection. What the heart cares about is resonance. Resonance that opens it, resonance that enlivens it, resonance that calls it home. And when it finds it, the transformation begins…”—Jeff Brown (via cosmofilius)
Women have soft skin that men love to touch. Just like our skin, our hearts are soft too. Women can be crushed very easily by a harsh word or look, cruel teasing, or a sharp voice tone. We hear too often how we do not measure up. All we have to do is open a magazine, turn on the TV, or go to the make-up counter in a retail store.
Often what I witness is a stream of critical words directed at each other, telling each other where they fall short or fail. If a woman is hearing negative words her heart becomes hard instead of soft. Women do not need to hear from their man negative comments about who she is, what she does, or how she looks. When a woman hears this repetitively, her self-doubt and low self-esteem will keep herself from giving to her man freely. Women need their men to tell them on a regular basis what they do well. As stated before in our article Cops In Marriage Counseling: If you do not have anything nice to say, then do not say anything at all.
This is not to say you can never give criticism. Criticism, given with love and delivered kindly, is a gift. Critiquing one another in order to force them into the mold you want is theft; it steals their self-esteem.